Hello world.

This is my first blog here I feel like I should give some background on me my life.

-I have lived in many different places, 7 different states.

-Ive never been in love.

-I have the best friends in the world.

-I love to read, I love history.

-I like to travel, so far I have been to Canada, Mexico, The Bahamas, along with many different states.

-I listen to mostly everything, I love country, but hate rap.

-Im not afraid to try any food, unless its spicy.

-My dad and brother are both Marines and are currently in Afganistan.

-I look like Im 14 but really Im not.

Now I will talk some (:

Summer: My summer wasnt that great. Both my dad and brother were out training to go over seas. I was fighting with my best friend Karissa and some times it felt like we were never going to talk again which was difficult since she was one of my best friends that was always there for me, were better now, thank god. I was also fighting with my other best friend Laura who told me she was never going to talk to me again which stung really bad, but thnakfully we are much better now. I only saw my dad and brother a few times during the summer and mostly only for a week or so at a time and each time they left it got harder. So with fighting with my best friends and having two people that meant a lot to me be away for soo long made my summer very upsetting I cried a lot and I was just not looking forward to the next year of my life being this way. Thankfully I still had Liz my other best friend who was there for me. She was the best listener all summer whenever I needed to talk she was there for me no problem. I was the most comfortable with her I would talk and cry and I knew she wouldnt tell anyone about what I said or judge me for being so emotional. Then in August I got what I thought was going to be the best thing for me which was Kevin, I spent a lot of time with him especially towards the end of the summer. Being with him was like being in a completely other world where nothing bad could happen. He made me more happy than I had ever been and I was comfortable with him. The worst part was I was falling faster and faster than I ever had. We were both leaving for school in the fall, he went further away from home than I did so there for he was an hour away which didnt seem like much. When he left I fell apart, I was gonna miss him and I felt like it would be very hard to try and make things work. The night before he left he sent me a text saying how much he liked me and how much he looked forward to me visiting and all this stuff it made me cry. I then started to think of how the three men in my life that mean the most to me were going to be so far away from me.

Fall: I returned to school, which was oddly a good distraction for me. My work load was on the heavy side and always being around people helped me keep my mind away from what hurt me the most. I talked to Kevin almost everyday which was good I still missed him a lot. I got to see him a lot which helped. I went to go visit him for the weekend and it was one of the best weekends of my life just being able to fall asleep in his arms and then wake up next to him in the morning. The next time I saw him was when he came home, it was another good visit but it was also very awkward. Friday we drove home and then we went to a bonfire then I brought him home. The next day we went to a walk in honor of my gramma, and then we went to my house and he spent the night with me at school. Then the next day his ex came over for a while which was awkward very awkward but Ive never had a problem with her it was just the situation. Then he left. Then the next week my brother came home, I didnt get to spend a lot of time with him which I now regret but the time I did spend with him was the best. Then it was time for him to go back to California where he would spend a few more days before he left to go to Afganistan. He called me the night before and he just was like I love you and I cant wait to see you in May and Ill be safe so dont worry about me, I tried my hardest to be strong while talking to him but as soon as I got off the phone with him I cried. Then Kevin was at school and started hanging out with some girl which obviously made me jealous but I had trusted him so I believed that everything was going to be ok with us .. boy was I wrong. While he hung out with her he would rarely talk to me and when he did it would be very distant which made me fall apart. I had the house to myself and my parents left on Thursday. So I went home Thursday night laid in bed and cried until I fell asleep I cried so hard I threw up, all because of this fear of losing him. So Friday he came home and hung out with his friends and I hung out with mine we were supposed to have a sleepover he then told me he was to tired to hang out and just wanted to wait until tomorrow, which then made me realize something was really wrong. So once again I cried myself to sleep. The next day we hung out I went to his house and he was being distant but then he wasnt at the same time so we just hung out for a little while. I finally got fed up and I was like what?!?! of course being a male he has awful communication skills and all he said was that I have that we go to school so far away from each other and I was like me to. Still he was weird so I was like ok what else and he was like I dont know so I sat there crying feeling like a fool hoping he would say something. So then I started asking questions and kept getting I dont know as an answer which was unacceptable. So the only question I felt would give me an answer was is there another girl? There was then a pause and then a ugh, I didnt need anymore than that. But I was hoping he would give me an explanation so then I continued to sit there and cry waiting for an answer. Finally I just got up and left saying I wanted to be with you I still do text me when you wanna talk. Went home and cried myself to sleep again. The next day he changed his relationship status to single, I was unaware that we broke up since I got no explanation. So I continued to cry a lot for the next few weeks. I then went to go see my friend at work also one of his best friends and along with my friend and Kevins ex I talked to them about it but felt bad and they helped. Especially his ex surprisingly she told me how he did basically the same thing to her not telling her why but just breaking up, she was a big help especially since she was happy and I had no hope in being happy for a while. Then only a week later my dad came home for a week before he left for Afganistan, I spent a lot of time with him, not fighting which is a big thing for us. When he left thats when I truly fell apart I felt so hopeless and I cried myself to sleep all the time.

Winter: Usually in the winter things are the worst for me however this winter things were looking up. I moved out of school and now all the people I hung out with wont speak to me except Jaimee. Jaimee has always been my bestfriend at school since she reminded me of my friends at home the most. I didnt miss Kevin as much , Im now finally over him. I still miss my dad and brother a lot but they are both safe and they got to spend Christmas together. I also got to talk to both of them. Ive also been spending a lot of time with my best friends which is the best. Now I have LONDON AND PARIS to look forward to.

Basically I felt like a little background for people other than my friends who might be reading this who dont know me would like to have.

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage.
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.

-Rise Against