fuck snow.

I hate snow soo much I dont get the point of it. Its like its put here to make us completely miserable. Or to make people even more aggressive drivers than they already are?!?! Also when did my mom become color blind she tells me to go pick up my sister and that shes at a blue house which was actually grey so I drove up and down the same fucking street 20 times. Then I brought my sister to get her eye brows done but they moved the place across the street to a bigger spot. So Im trying to get over and this lady stops like shes gonna let me go because she had a red light so therefore i figured she would be nice since she HAD stopped but NO she then drove and almost hit me and uh finally somebody was polite enough to let me go. Then my sister goes in and the lady tells her she already had nice enough eyebrows that she should wait to get them done until shes older so i went through all the fucking trouble for nothing. I also then scraped my moms car against the garage leaving a nice scratch. ugggggh luckily last time a holiday started off really bad it turned out to be amazing so i hope thats the case.

THE STARTING LINE IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG IM JUST REALLLLY REALLLY REALLY REALLY REALLLY REALLLY REALLY REALLLY HAPPPPPPY SOOO SOOO HAPPY!! (: (: ♥

So I was really upset about how sucky work was but then I spent hours with my best friends and it didnt seem that bad and then I read that I may or may not cry Im so excited. Now Im going to read!!

Leave me the way it has to be
excuse my poor excuse
tell me that insecurities
are what drove me to you
and everyday I compare your face
from sweet beginnings to your bitter end
sweet thing
I hope that you know I'm wondering where you are
You say this could work someday
when you and I both know this is the end
Let me let go

-The Starting Line

Work!

Ughh I have to work today. ): Im so sick of my job because I never know what type of day Im going to have at work, it could be bad or good it just depends on who is working. Also who knows where they are going to put me I would love to be on front counter really bad because its not deathly cold like drive thru or deathly hot like grill. I complain a lot about my job Im not sure why I dont just quit, I think its because Im kindof attached to the place. Ive made so many great friends there. Also since I have been there for so long I basically can get the hours I want and then I can request as much time as I want off, I mean which most people can do but at other places that might not be able to happen so I dont know. Because as soon as I get out Im going to Lizs and Id really like to just head over there as soon as I get out because Im already missing a lot of the party ): I cant wait for tonight its going to be a lot of fun and its going to be great to see everyone. I also feel like it might be weird like it always is. I have a feeling it will be a little split since theres two very distinct groups in our one large groups but I guess we will see how it is.

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in
This world

Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission
But I'm ready to fly

- Taylor Swift.

Hello world.

This is my first blog here I feel like I should give some background on me my life.

-I have lived in many different places, 7 different states.

-Ive never been in love.

-I have the best friends in the world.

-I love to read, I love history.

-I like to travel, so far I have been to Canada, Mexico, The Bahamas, along with many different states.

-I listen to mostly everything, I love country, but hate rap.

-Im not afraid to try any food, unless its spicy.

-My dad and brother are both Marines and are currently in Afganistan.

-I look like Im 14 but really Im not.

Now I will talk some (:

Summer: My summer wasnt that great. Both my dad and brother were out training to go over seas. I was fighting with my best friend Karissa and some times it felt like we were never going to talk again which was difficult since she was one of my best friends that was always there for me, were better now, thank god. I was also fighting with my other best friend Laura who told me she was never going to talk to me again which stung really bad, but thnakfully we are much better now. I only saw my dad and brother a few times during the summer and mostly only for a week or so at a time and each time they left it got harder. So with fighting with my best friends and having two people that meant a lot to me be away for soo long made my summer very upsetting I cried a lot and I was just not looking forward to the next year of my life being this way. Thankfully I still had Liz my other best friend who was there for me. She was the best listener all summer whenever I needed to talk she was there for me no problem. I was the most comfortable with her I would talk and cry and I knew she wouldnt tell anyone about what I said or judge me for being so emotional. Then in August I got what I thought was going to be the best thing for me which was Kevin, I spent a lot of time with him especially towards the end of the summer. Being with him was like being in a completely other world where nothing bad could happen. He made me more happy than I had ever been and I was comfortable with him. The worst part was I was falling faster and faster than I ever had. We were both leaving for school in the fall, he went further away from home than I did so there for he was an hour away which didnt seem like much. When he left I fell apart, I was gonna miss him and I felt like it would be very hard to try and make things work. The night before he left he sent me a text saying how much he liked me and how much he looked forward to me visiting and all this stuff it made me cry. I then started to think of how the three men in my life that mean the most to me were going to be so far away from me.

Fall: I returned to school, which was oddly a good distraction for me. My work load was on the heavy side and always being around people helped me keep my mind away from what hurt me the most. I talked to Kevin almost everyday which was good I still missed him a lot. I got to see him a lot which helped. I went to go visit him for the weekend and it was one of the best weekends of my life just being able to fall asleep in his arms and then wake up next to him in the morning. The next time I saw him was when he came home, it was another good visit but it was also very awkward. Friday we drove home and then we went to a bonfire then I brought him home. The next day we went to a walk in honor of my gramma, and then we went to my house and he spent the night with me at school. Then the next day his ex came over for a while which was awkward very awkward but Ive never had a problem with her it was just the situation. Then he left. Then the next week my brother came home, I didnt get to spend a lot of time with him which I now regret but the time I did spend with him was the best. Then it was time for him to go back to California where he would spend a few more days before he left to go to Afganistan. He called me the night before and he just was like I love you and I cant wait to see you in May and Ill be safe so dont worry about me, I tried my hardest to be strong while talking to him but as soon as I got off the phone with him I cried. Then Kevin was at school and started hanging out with some girl which obviously made me jealous but I had trusted him so I believed that everything was going to be ok with us .. boy was I wrong. While he hung out with her he would rarely talk to me and when he did it would be very distant which made me fall apart. I had the house to myself and my parents left on Thursday. So I went home Thursday night laid in bed and cried until I fell asleep I cried so hard I threw up, all because of this fear of losing him. So Friday he came home and hung out with his friends and I hung out with mine we were supposed to have a sleepover he then told me he was to tired to hang out and just wanted to wait until tomorrow, which then made me realize something was really wrong. So once again I cried myself to sleep. The next day we hung out I went to his house and he was being distant but then he wasnt at the same time so we just hung out for a little while. I finally got fed up and I was like what?!?! of course being a male he has awful communication skills and all he said was that I have that we go to school so far away from each other and I was like me to. Still he was weird so I was like ok what else and he was like I dont know so I sat there crying feeling like a fool hoping he would say something. So then I started asking questions and kept getting I dont know as an answer which was unacceptable. So the only question I felt would give me an answer was is there another girl? There was then a pause and then a ugh, I didnt need anymore than that. But I was hoping he would give me an explanation so then I continued to sit there and cry waiting for an answer. Finally I just got up and left saying I wanted to be with you I still do text me when you wanna talk. Went home and cried myself to sleep again. The next day he changed his relationship status to single, I was unaware that we broke up since I got no explanation. So I continued to cry a lot for the next few weeks. I then went to go see my friend at work also one of his best friends and along with my friend and Kevins ex I talked to them about it but felt bad and they helped. Especially his ex surprisingly she told me how he did basically the same thing to her not telling her why but just breaking up, she was a big help especially since she was happy and I had no hope in being happy for a while. Then only a week later my dad came home for a week before he left for Afganistan, I spent a lot of time with him, not fighting which is a big thing for us. When he left thats when I truly fell apart I felt so hopeless and I cried myself to sleep all the time.

Winter: Usually in the winter things are the worst for me however this winter things were looking up. I moved out of school and now all the people I hung out with wont speak to me except Jaimee. Jaimee has always been my bestfriend at school since she reminded me of my friends at home the most. I didnt miss Kevin as much , Im now finally over him. I still miss my dad and brother a lot but they are both safe and they got to spend Christmas together. I also got to talk to both of them. Ive also been spending a lot of time with my best friends which is the best. Now I have LONDON AND PARIS to look forward to.

Basically I felt like a little background for people other than my friends who might be reading this who dont know me would like to have.

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage.
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand.

-Rise Against